Three of the most difficult words that we can say.
“I Need Help.” is a phrase that so many of us are deathly afraid to say. It ranks up there right beside “I am Sorry”, and “I was Wrong.”
Although saying “I am sorry” or “I am wrong”, can both be difficult for many of us to say, I feel that when we do say them, we have learned a lesson or changed, or at least realized there was a mistake that was made. Saying “I Need Help” insinuates that we have an ongoing issue and just need someone else. We can’t do it alone, we haven’t learned a lesson, and often times we feel completely defeated. So many of us feel like our pride is completely shattered because we have to ask someone else to help us.
Asking for help to accomplish a physical goal or objective is one thing, and so many people have an issue even doing this, even though many times it requires a physical strength or skill that we don’t possess. But, when it comes to asking for help with something that has to do with our minds, hearts, souls or emotions, asking for help immediately becomes extremely more difficult.
We are stuck with our thoughts all day, every day for our entire lives, so why do we feel that it isn’t important to work on them, train them, care for them just as much as many of us might with our physical beings, homes, or vehicles that we spend so much of our time in.
There are so many people that think that the phrase “I Need Help” is a sign of weakness. They believe that asking for someone to talk with them, or to have someone sit and listen to their troubles means that they are weak, fragile, and incomplete. The complete opposite is where the truth actually lies. Being strong enough to ask someone for help, in any sense, should be looked at as courageous, trusting, and growth oriented.
Every one of us struggles. Whether it has to do with our life choices, our upbringing, our social network, or our emotions; every single person has struggled at some point and even currently has something going on within them that they could use help dealing with. So if there are so many of us struggling, why are we are struggling alone? Why do we beat ourselves up and look so negatively on ourselves for the pains that we are dealing with? It needs to stop.
Since I have began my own personal journey, I have tried to make a conscious effort on a regular basis to work on my mind, emotions and struggles. It is often not very easy, and I am sometimes led deeper into a dark place for a few days; but every time that I do, I come out stronger and more confident than when I had started the work. I’ve put out countless posts imploring people to really put in the work to ensure that they are living the best lives that they can be. Over the years, I’ve had numerous people reach out to me explaining how my posts have given them the push to work on themselves and ask for help. Each one of them had then explained that they too had emerged better and stronger than when they began. The point of me telling you this, is to let you know that yes, it will be difficult and may even be scary but there is rarely a time when someone chooses to reach out for help, no matter what kind of help it is, that they are left in a scenario that is worse in the long run than before they had asked.
We need to push past the thoughts that are holding us back. Push beyond the idea that people are going to think poorly of us. Break through the terrible stigma that surrounds the idea that asking for help is weak. We need to learn to “get comfortable being uncomfortable.” Once we can learn to embrace the idea that our self care and well being are worth a thousand times more than whatever discomfort we may have in asking for help, we will grow to be the absolute best possible versions of ourselves.
I’ve heard these analogies used so many times in the past but they really do hold a great deal of value:
Each time that we are one a flight somewhere, and the flight attendant explains the proper use of the oxygen masks, they also explain that in an emergency it is important to place your mask on first and then help those around you. They say this because in an emergency situation, if something happens to you while you are in the process of helping someone else and you don’t have your mask on, then you will no longer be able to help anyone.
Similarly, you can not give to others until your glass is completely filled and overflowing. Some may suggest that it is more important to give equal amounts to all; but if your glass isn’t full then you will be pulling yourself in two different directions to try to fill your own and the others, at which point, none will ever be filled.
Put your mask on first. First fill your own glass. Take care of yourself, and you will be rewarded with the ability to help others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help because it will lead you down the path of success. And please, please, please always remember that you are not alone when it comes to dealing with the struggles that you hold inside of you. If you have the courage and strength to say “I Need Help”, there will always be someone there who is willing to help and give the overflow of their own glass.